I feel like my boyfriend is gay

This is a subject that I have wanted to write about for a very long time. Because I once dated a guy who was everything I had ever wanted, until… I found something that forever changed the foundation that our relationship was built on. Is my boyfriend gay? I had never had a connection with anyone like this before.

But then again, why did I find what I found on his phone? Not only did I not find anything from my Google searches, but I actually found a ton of junk out there that personally, I think is very disrespectful to the gay community. Since when did caring too much about your hygiene become a bad thing, let alone a gay thing?

I wanted to write this post for any woman out there who is or has ever found herself in this position.

Coming Out In a Relationship – How Do I Tell My Boyfriend I Think I’m Gay?

So how did I get there on that night? This guy had it all. He was very well-known and had the world in the palm of his hand. He was the guy that every guy wanted to be and be friends with. With the most infectious laugh and personality, he was a walking attention magnet. He had a way of making people feel like they could do anything except be as cool as him or get any kind of emotional access to him.

We had been going through a rough time. He took them all to strip clubs, dropping thousands on lap dances for everyone. He had been friends with these guys for years. They were all married with kids, except him. I remember feeling so insecure when I found out about the lap dances. It devastated me. Maybe because even though he eventually answered my texts on Sunday night, I felt such a distance… I felt like there was some sort of unknown threat.

So, there I was. At am going through his phone while he was sleeping next to me. I found so many things on his phone that made me forget his distance. He had all of his text logs up and talked so highly of me to everyone. My presence was all over his phone in the best way. Then, just as I was about to put the phone down in the exact position he left it in, I opened his internet and a ton of bricks came crashing down.

My whole body started shaking.